Changes and Absence makes the heart grow fonder....

 From Madam Alice:

I know that I have not written for a bit of time but that is due to a number of things, mainly as Blogger still has restrictions on my account, so I'm doing this post via billie's account.  the other thing is the fact that work is creating changes in our lives.

While this may sound bad, it isn't the end of the world but it has made me realise that there has been some things that I have taken for granted for a very long time.

Over the years there has been times when billie has worked overseas and away from home for extended periods of time.  He has done this to provide for me and also for members of my family.  there is a lot been done to ensure that we have a comfortable life.  We are not rich by any means but it has meant that my sister and her children have had a home and that I have been well looked after.

When ever the opportunity arose Mick (billie) would come home to me and I have to say he would be enthusiastic to see me explaining how much he missed me and at times it was all too much, and on such occasions I would 'snap' at him to calm down.

I know he missed me and I know that he genuinely loved coming home to me, but for me , at the time he was coming back into my carefully established routine and creating waves and changes rather than just slotting into the routine that I had.

Why am I writing about this?  Well for the last few weeks I have found myself working away from home.  This isn't like being on a visit or away on a training course, but actually spending Monday to Thursday/Friday living out of a bag.  And it is likely that this will be my working pattern for some time to come.

Now this isn't a complaint about the work, the work is great and I am really enjoying the challenge of it.  I also love the fact that Mick/billie is so supportive of me doing this.  The thing is I am starting to understand why my husband was so enthusiastic when he came home.

Spending time away from home, with its routines and my things, and my space and most of all being away from my husband makes me want to get home to him.  I miss him, I miss him alot.

Now I'm only a few hours away from him, I can call him.  but when I go to bed tonight he isn't there to come and join me and to cuddle in behind me, he isn't there to put an arm around me to make me feel safe and wanted.  I know I'm the Dominant in our FLR but I miss being cuddled and hugged by my submissive.

And he isn't there to wake me with his tongue in the morning!

To put it simply I miss my husband and I can't wait to get home to him tomorrow evening.

I now know why he was so enthusiastic to come home to me.  He did far longer away, when phone calls were more expensive and mobiles weren't quite the technology that they are now.

I also shudder to think about the restrictions that he had when living out of a bag when he was in the Middle East or working in Germany.

So I have a respect and understanding for my husband and I have a bit of guilt for 'snapping' and losing my temper with him when in reality he was just overly keen to let me know that he loved and missed me!

So does this mean that I'm going to stop doing this job? well that is one option, but there are others, but it isn't for me to impose them.  

Billie and I have had several chats, with him advising me on how to deal with this work style of being away.  I also want to know how billie feels about it and what he thinks. So we will see how things progress.  

  Just as a final piece - billie and I had a very lovely valentine's day together.  it was good to spend time with him and he did pamper me.  

I did resolve his frustration issues, with a very long session of edging which ultimately resulted in a rather spoilt orgasm for him which he was very grateful for.  And while this may all sound even more frustrating what you have to remember is that my husband gets incredibly turned on by humiliation and also by...Me! so having a long evening of edging fun was very wonderful for both of us.