Whats in a Name - Madam Alice

 From Madam Alice.

Poppet asked an interesting question about whether John is viewed as my partner/ Boyfriend by those that I work with.  The simple answer is Yes, they do.  There are very few people around where we live and work that don't believe that John and I are a couple in a long term relationship.

This is flipped when we go back upto Leicester to see the family, where myself and Mick are very much the married couple.

To explain this I was going to repost some posts from the old blog but I thought that I could perhaps add some detail that would explain a lot better how this all came about.

We started the FLR when we lived in Leicester in 1998/99 and it really started in earnest in 2000 when I reached out to Carol, with the Guidance and development from Carol I learned to develop and become more confident with myself and to take ownership of our marriage.  This was not a one sided matter, Mick was very much part of the conversation and also very involved in making the decisions - this was not me telling and him doing, it was lots of talking, understanding each other and agreeing what we needed to do and what we wanted to do.

Mick was on the mend from his breakdown and he was the one that recognised that our sexual side of our relationship need to change.  He was really concerned that I was getting sexually frustrated.  At the same time I was learning from Carole that I had a Bi side to myself and also about the cuckolding side of Carole's relationship with her husband kevin/ kerri.

Mick had already suggested that he would be OK with me having an affair or one night stands of it would meet with my sexual needs.  I want to point out that Mick was not pushed or forced into that, he came to me and we talked it through, he was worried that I might go looking for a relationship else where and this was his way to offering to keep the relationship together.  

Well he got probably the second biggest bollocking of his life (the first was when he was well enough after his breakdown to know that I was angry at him for doing what he did), he was bollocked because if there something in this life that is certain and that is that I love Mick and I had never even considered or thought of leaving him! I get so much from my husband that the physical aspect is way down the list of why I love him and why he is my partner and soul mate. (sorry if that was a bit too sickly and lovey dovey but it is a fact).  Mick was,and still is, a very good and considerate lover, it was just a fact that his breakdown had impacted on him physically as well as mentally and it was going to take quite a bit of time before he was starting to improve physically and sexually.

By creating our FLR and allowing me to become the Alpha and Mick to be the beta we stabilised the marriage and it gave a good base for Mick to recover.

We found that by creating different characters for ourselves we could have a the FLR as our normal routine but also have a vanilla face for the outside world.  So we created billie and Madam and kept Alice and Mick for dealing with Friends and Family.

The chance of getting a promotion at work and the need to move to another branch of the Parent Company threw up a number of possibilities for us.  We could normalise the new relationship, really make it the daily routine.  

It was Mick that made the suggestion that got both of us thinking.  We were moving to a whole new area, this branch of the company were not directly linked to the Leicester company, so there was an opportunity that I could go and have the occasional night out and perhaps have an occasional fling.  

Mick was already negotiating on the house, which while it was a renovation nightmare, it offered a rural location with very few neighbours, the ability for Mick to work from home with his Consultancy business and it was close to work but not too close.  Micks suggestion was that when I start at the new job just drop the Mrs Luff and use Ms Luff, "don't tell just let them assume that you are single/ divorced or what every they liked".  As it turned out we didn't need to do any of that, the Leicester HR department did it all for me.

I left school and started with the company in Leicester in the admin office, so I was registered with the company with my maiden name.  I worked at various roles in the company until I was allocated to one of the Senior Engineers as his department's admin support, he spotted that I was quite useful with the design and project teams and suggested that I get some training to become part of the Project Teams rather than the admin assistant.  At this time I met Mick and 2 years later we are married.

I didn't realise that no one in the HR department had updated my details to have my married name. For all of my time in the Leicester company, my department used my married name but the system still had my original surname.  

My boss encouraged me to apply for a promotion and move into one of the Project teams at Milton Keynes, that branch was expanding and they wanted Junior Project Managers so I applied.  The company had a policy that all applications and CVs would have personal details removed and a simple candidate number was added.

The result was that at no point in my application or at the interview was my surname used.  Luckily I got the job and my personal file was moved from the Leicester office to the Parent Company Office in London and then out to the Milton Keynes office still showing that I was a Miss and with my Maiden name.

The details of all of this came to light for us when the company sent out a welcome pack, I showed it to Mick and he just told me to go with it, arrive and be the new Madam Alice using her old maiden name.

Fast forwarding to when I met John, it had been through a dating site that dealt with Married Women to find men for "fun". we met and I explained from the very start that I was seeing John with the full knowledge and consent of my husband.  John was curious but not shocked, he'd previously had a short relationship with a couple where the Husband liked to watch his wife fuck her boyfriend.  I explained that we were not quite like that and that we were in a Female Led Relationship.  John acknowledged this and our first date together had a very interesting conversation where John asked lots of questions, not in a bad way, but in a very deliberate gathering knowledge type of way. He also liked the fact that I was using my maiden name.

On our second date I found that John had done quite a bit of research and he was well prepared with questions that added depth and detail to what he had learned.  He also told me that If this was going to become longer term thing then he would like to be more public with me.  He made it very clear he was not looking for Marriage  or to break up a marriage.  At this point I was starting to think that we had potential here with John.

Over the next few weeks and months, the relationship was working very well and John made it clear that he would like to meet and talk with Mick, just to make sure that all of this was true.  We  all meet up and the conversation was very good, open and honest from all three of us.

John followed this up with a couple of meetings with Mick on his own, again this showed us that we had a individual that was open to, but also understating, of the way we lived and wanted to develop.

billie's post from November 2018 covers it rather well from his perspective while focusing on the rules for John and billie's relationship, The link is below and it is worth going back and having a read of it

https://subhusbandsflr.blogspot.com/2018/11/

I've also extracted the important parts:

John would become Alice's boyfriend, John had no problem with Alice and Mick's relationship (he had one stipulation and I'll cover that shortly) but billie would have several conditions applied to him and they would require to be implemented prior to John coming to our house. 

John asked Mick to purchase a small jewellery box to be given to Alice as a gift and in it he would like me to place my wedding ring and to give it to Alice, Alice could then place her engagement and wedding rings in the box together.  John's thinking was that Alice and he would be boyfriend/ girlfriend but Alice and Mick would still be very much married and having the rings all together would be a symbol of that union.  A nice touch and I did get it, even though it would appear she was single by not wearing rings I got the symbolism of the rings being together.  

Master would now be Madam's Boyfriend and as such he would be socialising with her in the local area.  billie was to stop socialising with Madam in any local restaurants and bars.  Master wanted the ability to take his girlfriend for meals  and nights out without any embarrassment to him or to Madam.  If billie wished to take Madam out for an evening then it would have to be done further a field (London). 

billie will be required to drive Madam and Master out on their local dates and collect them at the end of the evening. 

with everyone in agreement and aware of each others wants, needs and limits we started our 3 sided relationship, with the public face being that John and I are a couple.

Some people at work keep expecting that there will be a wedding between us, but we keep pointing out that John has been married before and that was not a good part of his life so he doesn't want to get married again (which is totally true), but it provides a good way to shut down any marriage suggestions.

The only time that I've had questions asked about who Mick is was by a couple of people at work in the early period when I started working there, and we had come up with the explanation that when I bought the property there was a Office and a Storage area on the site that the previous owner rented it out and I've continued to do that to Mick to run his business from them, "The rent has helped to pay for the renovation of the house overs the years".  It seemed to have worked as a reason.

That has been quite a long post just to say that to the majority of people that we know locally see John and I as a couple.  Hopefully it adds some context.