Chastity - why do that to yourself?

I've managed to get time in the office again and with a bit of spare time I thought that I'd respond to a question but publish it to everyone as it raised a valid point.

"Why do you accept or tolerate being made to wear a cock cage at all, let a lone for long periods?"

Firstly I'm a willing participant in this activity of chastity wear, yes the control and the period of being caged is not in my remit but I willing wear the cage.  So while there is a "forced" aspect it isn't something that I'm against.

I tolerate it as it, while it is frustrating at quite a few times, it does allow me to quite focused in the relationship that I have with my Wife.  you'll notice I haven't used Mistress or Madam, this is all about the relationship in our marriage.  When we realised that our arguing and clashes in the relationship were borne out of the induced stresses and frustrations being applied from outside for both Alice and myself, we had a good sit down and a very brutal and honest chat.

I was working like hell, running multiple projects, almost constantly travelling and effectively running on next to no sleep.  While the mental stresses were high they also came with physical stresses and the ability to make love and have sex with Alice was just a big struggle.  Added to which this would then be compounded by being top dog at work and trying to let that go when I did eventually get home. all a bit of a car crash.

This created frustrations with Alice, she wanted to take the options that were being offered through her work, she wanted challenges from her work and she was frustrated both sexually and by me and my work.

The mental meltdown made things change.

Our early sex life was full, varied and definitely not boring.  As part of my recovery we were advised to reinvigorate our sex lives by getting back to being intimate with each other, but the physical stresses made it difficult for me and so we found that if I abstained for a week and did more Oral on Alice in the interim we could get things to work.

With Alice taking control and the start of the FLR we found our actual natural places.  Alice as the Dominant and me as the submissive, but still very much a loving couple, and that has been the strengthener in the marriage.

The friendship and relationship with Carole and Kerri has also helped to improve things for us both.  it was a journey and it would take us both on the trip.  The developing the Bisexual side of both of us was not expected and to be honest it has been a real help, now whether that has been due to accepting bisexuality or the actual relationships that we developed with Carole and Kerri - I would say that it was the latter, but others may take a different view.

My focus in life is always Alice, its why I pushed myself probably beyond where I should have (I was earning to look after Alice, her sister and her 2 girls, our nieces, at that point in time), so I continued that and once into the submissive role in the FLR it allowed me to focus purely on the woman that I love.

Now I wasn't completely knackered downstairs, it does work and as I recovered I found that erections and recovery times got better but it wasn't back to what it had been.  Added to that I was never that well hung.  I did sense that Alice was missing out and was very frustrated and while my efforts at sex were OK at best I did need to supplement things either orally or with toys.  As my libido diminished I could sense Alice's increased.

The move in jobs and location allowed Alice to have a new start and we discussed to potential for Alice to relieve some of her frustrations with perhaps an affair or one night stand.  Carole had discussed cuckolding and at this point we were open to the idea.  So Alice started work using her maiden name and settled into her new job.  After a while she would be invited out for a girls night out and had the occasional one night stand.  I would say that sort of helped but as she put it she wanted something more regular but with less risks - something where all parties knew about each other and that things were being done with consent.

At about this time, 2005, we started experimenting with chastity devices when we purchased a CB2000.  this was a device that wasn't really for long term wear and was more of a wear for a day or 2 at a time but Alice found that by getting me to wear it when she went out for a night with the girls or to meet someone has a significant effect on me when she returned.

we also found that by putting me in the cage a few days before and then teasing upto and beyond going out had a real positive effect on me sexually.

So chastity has a really good impact or our sex lives.

the next thing about it was once she had a regular boyfriend I would find myself in chastity on a more regular basis.  We had progressed to trying different cages at this point and the CB6000 and 6000s seemed to work for longer or more regular wear.

Alice spotted that there was something missing (I hadn't noticed but she was right - possibly Carole may have pointed it out, I'm not sure) and that was that with the FLR developing and becoming stronger I should be more active in the cuckolding.  Looking back it was totally right, Alice wasn't pushing me out quite the opposite but her Boyfriend at the time was not keen on having me involved or around when he was with her.  But when she came back she was all over me, and the frustrations of the chastity allowed both of us to really enjoy each other sexually and emotionally - that may seem strange but it really was the case.yup


That relationship came to a natural close when the boyfriend had to move due to a job offer oversees.  Alice and I had a good chat about what we wanted with going forward.  We both wanted Alice to have a physical relationship, her sex drive had really picked up, and I wanted her to have it and also to deepen the FLR relationship, her one condition was that she wanted the cuckolding to be more inclusive, to have me involved and to be honest that is what I wanted as well.

Eventually we found John, Dating sites do let you find the right people (but it did mean that we found a wrong one along the way as well, but thankfully we managed to extract ourselves from that relationship at the very early stages!).

John had been with a swinging couple before meeting us where the husband was more of a cuckold "stag", someone whole liked to watch his wife with someone else, so we were not a big surprise to him.  we explained our relationship, the FLR, the cuckolding and the use of chastity and what it did for Alice and for me.  The Dominance and Submission aspect was different for him and he was intrigued by that and the chastity.  Lots of questions - sensible questions - chats with Alice and with me, both together and separately.  he went and did some research and once he was happy and we were happy he agreed to having a relationship which involved all of us.

With that he set rules and the wearing of chastity would become a significant part of that relationship.

I agreed to this, not because I was ordered to do it, but because we had a discussion, Alice explained what she wanted from John and from me, John explained what he wanted and why, and that's the important part - there was reason for it, and I discussed what I wanted out of it and we all found common ground to allow things to develop and develop they have.

so after a long post here are my reason why I choose to wear a Chasity cage

1. It allows me to indicate that I am the submissive in the relationship.
2. It shows that I am focused on the needs of my wife before myself.
3. It makes me want to please my wife.
4. while it does create frustrations it means that  can channel those towards working in our relationship.
5. I really like the change in the power dynamic in our relationship and chastity add to that.
6. It allows me to show to both Alice and John that I'm not competing with them as an Alpha.
7. By locking my penis away, means that I no long get worried about my ability to satisfy my wife in that way, this used to stress me, now that stress doesn't occur as I know I can use my other skills to satisfy her in other ways, and that creates a positive feeling.

There is a lot more that I could add but I do enjoy being locked in my cage, and truth be told both Alice and I are more sexually satisfied and active that were before we started using chastity in the FLR and Cuckolding in our Marriage.

I won't say it will work for everyone but it works for me and it works for us - Alice and me.

I hope that this explains or answers things, or maybe it poses more questions either way discussion is good and I'm sure I'll chat about chastity again.

keep safe everyone

billie xxx