The development of our FLR and relationship with Mistress Carol and Kerri - 2 old blog posts to add context

This was orginally posted by Madam on the 9 Aug 17 on our Wordpress Blog.  I've reposted it here as there has been several requests to us to explain how it all started

From Mistress Alice  

We've had an early start today and been and done our walk and sight seeing, a lovely lunch and now it is a bit of a relax.  Mick has been directed to do a bit of research for changes to outfits but I'm sure he will tell you about that himself - he seems to be tapping away on the his tablet at the moment so I'm not sure if he is contacting people or drafting his post to the blog. 

so how did we get to where we are, we have explained why we did it but how did this FLR relationship come into it's current form and how did we get it to work? 

Our relationship was becoming a series of arguments and clashing of heads in 2001, Mick's work frustrations and stress and my frustrations with life.  when Mick had his breakdown the air cleared and we had a really good heart to heart.  Our sex life had been very adventurous (for us at the time) and we both had done a bit of role play, bit of crossdressing and fetish play.  we had done a bit of Dom/sub playing (and that was what it was - playing) each taking turns to be the Dom.  The two surprises was that I really enjoyed the power trip and the feelings that it gave me and the other was that Mick struggled to take on that Dominant role - surprising as he was definitely an Alpha male in his work environment.  Mick was far more comfortable when he was in the submissive role. 

during our Heart to Heart Mick explained that he hated the arguments but he was just losing control of work and life, but he didn't want to lose me.  he wanted me to be his focus and as we talked we discussed how he would manage his work and how we would have to adjust our lives.  So the seeds were sown where I would become the Alpha in the relationship and Mick the submissive, Mick would finish his current contract and move to the consulting side of the industry - all of this just didn't happen but took almost 9 months of talking, trying things, talking again and learning. 

in the past we had both read a magazine called FORUM, (bear in mind this was 2001 and the internet was not the mine of information that it is now) and I went back through some old copies that we still had and read some of the articles and stories - some were clearly just that - Stories, but I did get some ideas.  On my next trip to London I went and picked up a current copy of FORUM and also called into a shop that I had visited with Mick before - Honour (near Waterloo Station) and picked up a couple of other magazines hoping to get some more ideas. 

In the back of most of these publications there would be  adverts for Mistress and contacts but you would also get personal ads.  In one I found personal ad from a Dominant Wife with a submissive sissy who was looking to develop his training.  while this wasn't what I wanted it did offer a potential insight to what/ where I wanted to travel. 

That evening I wrote (pen and paper were still in fashion at this point) asking the Wife if she could give me some pointers and advice so that I could develop the relationship with Mick.  I posted it to the PO Box number with the vain hope that it might get a response - my hopes at this point were not high.  2 weeks later I came home to a letter, neatly written, from a lady that referred to herself as Mistress Carol, it was polite but blunt, warning me that if I was a male thrill seeker then I could piss off, but if I was a fledgling Dom I should write again with more details. we corresponded for a about 6 weeks by post and then I was asked to provide a phone number and times when I would be in, preferably when Mick was not. 

Mistress Carol called about a week after the letter had been posted and our relationship started to take off.  we would chat twice a week, me with questions and Carol with advice (she had dropped the Mistress title once she realised that I was genuine and wanted help and guidance). 

3 months after starting all of this correspondence and calls it was decided that we should meet and So Mistress Carol became my mentor on the way to becoming Mistress Alice. 

Carol was a woman in her early 40s, she had been widowed in her 20's after a car accident that almost killed her but took her husband.  She had been working part time and slightly struggling to make ends meet and had been asked by a friend if she would like earn a bit of money helping her friend who was doing some Domination work, the way Carol explains it is far more interesting but it gave her a real insight to the scene and also an understanding about the different elements of Domination and Submission.  

Carol can explain the difference between the 2 hour whipping session with a paying client and a lifestyle choice.  while it provided her work it also meant that she was invited out into the fetish scene in London over the years she had a number of relationships but she found that she had a thing for submissive sissies and that is were she met her sissy Kerri, at that point called Kevin (Kerri is far cuter that Kevin).  Kevin is 18 years her junior.  When I first met Carol she had married Kerri 2 years previously and she had trained him to be her submissive sissy. 

Carol spent the weekend explaining a lot of the basics and fundamentals and it was great to meet Kerri and see what could be done.  The biggest take away from the meeting was that there is a difference with Dom Sub play and a FLR.  Carol was working/ playing in the Dominatrix world but had a FLR as part of her home life.  she had reduced her Dom work and was wanting to do a bit more with her sissy to get that home life where she wanted it.  She was quite upfront with me, she would help me, explain things to me  - show me where appropriate. but I would also be required to help with her development of Kerri. 

Over the next 12 months I learned a lot about the emotional side of FLR and how not to mess it up, how to understand the needs of the submissive are really, really important - often more important than those of the Dominant.  it allowed me to get our relationship right with Mick and to create sissy billie.  Carol also helped to train billie, this was introduced about 12 months into our FLR. 

when we started with Chastity (about 2005) we both took billie and Kerri to London to purchase their cages together and both Carol and I are the secondary Keyholders for each others sissy.  

We are very good friends and regularly meet up to play and for vanilla get togethers.  billie will at least twice a year be sent back to Mistress Carol for refresher training - almost like a Quality Assurance process to ensure that he/she is still suitably submissive and still can maintain the appropriate standards as a sissy maid and servant to her Mistress.  while billie dreads his training assessments I do think he enjoys meeting with sissy kerri as they are "very" good friends.  I'm sure we'll discuss that further later. 

well that's enough for now, time to have a cup of tea and get ready for this evening.

This next post is from the old wordpress blog and published 14 Aug 17

Sexual Orientation - Confused?

I've been told to make the use of the time while everyone is out of the house and I can be occupied in my office. 

Madam has already explained what the situation is in relation to me (Mick and billie) in terms of sex and love making. 

Madam has tasked me with explaining what our sexual orientations are.  Prior to the start of the FLR in our lives we were heterosexual and adventurous.  Oral both ways, anal (penetration of Madam by Mick and Madam using vibrators on Mick's arse).  no great shakes there.  we had watched Porn with lesbian but very little of male gay sex or male bisexuality.  we had watched some porn with Interracial and also cuckolding (at the time we didn't know the term cuckolding).  with the decision made that we needed to move toward a FLR relationship we both researched what it would mean. 

 Alice did far more that me as I was still on the mend from being "broken".  Mistress Carol, was a real godsend to Alice and as I got better I watched Alice grow and develop into being Mistress Alice.  Her trips down to Mistress Carol's would bring her back refreshed and more confident.  we had lots of chats and Alice didn't hide anything from me.  She had seen how Mistress Carol ran her FLR with her husband, kerri, and Alice liked quite a lot of that type of relationship, not all of it, but many elements to it appealed to her . 

Alice explained that Kerri was fully feminised while at home (and the occasional time outside) and that Mistress Carol also cuckolded him/her.  Alice explained that she wanted some feminisation for me but not full feminisation as she knew that the humiliation element needed to be a bit stronger with me - so by holding onto some elements of my male physical appearance while in female apparel we could achieve the desired effect.  it was also explained that Carol had a long term boyfriend/ partner that provided male company and sex for her.  she had cuckolded kerri with this Gentleman and that kerri was an active participant in this cuckolding - Alice explained what cuckolding was and the different types of levels/ involvement. 

Alice also explained that she had had her first full on Bisexual experience with Carol and had really enjoyed it and she fully intended to continue with this relationship. (Alice made it clear that she was not looking for multiple partners).  Alice explained that she liked the idea of having a steady boyfriend for sex and would like to cuckold me.  I could understand why, the level of stress that I had in life at that point had made my sex life non existent (or just a car crash event!) and my ability to maintain an erection was difficult.  her one stipulation was that if she found the right type of person then she would want me to be like kerri and to take part and to help with the cuckolding activities.  while initially this scared me with a little research and also a lot of conversations with Alice, Carol and kerri I tentatively agreed, but it was on the condition that we needed to be very careful about who she selected as a boyfriend and how to introduce them into our FLR - we are both professionals and there was our families to consider (well Alice's mainly as mine had pretty much disowned me years ago.) 

Alice also explained that I (as billie) would undergo training to become a better submissive, to learn how to serve and worship the stronger sex and also she would train me to become a cock sucker and to take cock in my arse -  I would either embrace bisexuality or we would engage in (a controlled) forced bi activities.  Mistress Carol and Madam had discussed things and my training programme and as part of that kerri would help with my sexual training.  if I embraced bisexuality them I would probably become kerri's boy/girlfriend.  Mistress Carol and Sissy kerri were very good trainers.  Mistress Alice learned how to use her strapon toys to develop me, and also having to eat my own cum after making love to Mistress or after masturbating contributed to ensure my steady slide to accepting bisexuality. 

I went to stay with Mistress Carol and kerri for a couple of months (almost as part of my recuperation) and it may sound odd to those outside the D/s world but it is incredibly stress releasing to be a submissive sissy maid, to focus on serving others and to stop being worried about things that are often beyond our control.  I enjoyed it - yes I was spanked and caned.  yes I spent time in bondage and with my nose against a wall while my Mistress and her friend, Mistress Carol had lesbian sex in the same room as me.  even the humiliation (verbal, physical, emotional) all worked to pull me back from being mentally broken.  (my one bit of advice - if you are under stress at work and you are in a high pressure environment then going and being a submissive to your wife or to a Mistress for an hour, a day or a week will do wonders for you.  give yourself to a Dominant and it will help you to release some of that stress.) 

As part of that training I was eventually required to share a room and bed with kerri.  he/she is quite a bit younger that me but was very accepting and help to teach me what it was to be a submissive, how to conduct myself and eventually I was made to suck her sissy clit (I'm not allowed to refer to her male parts as a cock or ass, she has a sissy clit and a sissy pussy -this may seem all very pedantic but it is an important part of being a submissive sissy).  kerri was also allow to fuck me, and later she made love to me (more foreplay, more feeling and more emotional involvement). 

Madam, explained that there was 2 aims to this sexual training, she wanted me to have a safe and controlled sexual partner - a girlfriend - in the form of kerri (Mistress Carol was looking for the same for kerri with me) and also to prepare me for serving both Madam and her boyfriend, once she had found the right one.  By the end of my training (and Mistress Alice's training) with Mistress Carol I was very comfortable with my sexuality as being bisexual.  Yes kerri and billie are girlfriends and Mistress Carol and Mistress Alice are Girlfriends.  that is still the case now 14/15 years on.  I do sexually serve Master John and while it does create a massive sexual turn on, also the there is a greater turn on from the  sexual humiliation of sexually submitting to a Master. 

There are elements of the Force Bi in there but it all adds into the sexual and erotic emotional mix that is in Mine and Mistress's FLR sexual orientation.  Madam openly admits she gets an incredible sexual buzz from watching me give head to a real cock or being fucked by her male partner.  I think that it is safe to say that Madam and billie are very much of the bisexual orientation  (afternote - we have a very small sexual group.  we don't swing or swap.  the group has 6 of us and that is a small and closed network - Madam, Master John, Mistress Carol and her long term partner, kerri and myself.  we are not looking to open that group and we are very comfortable with what we have.) 

yours in submission 

billie